Stress, as I have found, can manifest itself in many strange ways. Things such as numbness in extremities, dizziness, headaches, not being able to remember some simple data, to bleeding like a period (this has only happened once to me when our fourth child had delicate, survival surgery, I was still nursing and my periods hadn't started yet but I bled that one day). There was a time that I thought maybe I had a brain tumor or some other terrible malady. After testing by a neurologist, the answer was stress. This was a better answer than the other options that I was facing, but to me a bit more complicated. It's hard to identify where all the stress comes from and how to eliminate it.

I started looking at stress and studying how to handle it. I first had to try to simplify my life and get rid of what caused the stress. When you are a mother you can't always rid yourself of many of the stressful things. This is not a job you can just up and quit and move on to other opportunities. I had to find a way to simplify my thought pattern and be able to recognize what my body was saying to me. I found that there were many times that I was worrying about things that weren't very important, or I was busy striving for perfection beyond a reasonable point. I still have a tendency to take on more than is comfortable. I challenge myself with difficult things or have a hard time saying "No" when someone asks something of me (time wise). But I have learned to prepare the best that I can for whatever is coming up, be it work, church, or home, and then when all is said and done, sit back and enjoy the moment. As an example, if one of my children were having a birthday party, I would do all the necessary preparation: send out invitations, purchase the food and other supplies, organize games and decorations, and then it run it's course. I have also learned that I don't need to show that I'm a "SuperMom". I am a better mom when I share the work and responsibility with my family. I judge how effective a mom I am by what skills my children demonstrate that they have learned.

Resolving Stress

The next step I had to take was taking care of the stress. The doctor gave me a choice of medications or by natural means. I chose the natural course. I was still nursing a baby and couldn't take the medication while nursing. My feelings have been that if it could hurt the baby, maybe it's not so great for me either. Through my studying I found a number of simple things that I could do to help the situation, things that required a change in thought and in action. I will address those things later. I also found that people didn't used to have problems with stress like we do these days. The sources that I read felt that part of this was because of the difference of lifestyle now. One hundred years ago people exerted much more energy just in their daily chores and survival. As we have become more efficient, we sit more and work (physically) less, in general. I am not proposing that we go back to life as it was one hundred years ago. All of the technology is beneficial for all of us and our lives are improved by it. We just have to work harder to find ways to physically work out that stress. As I thought about this concept, I realized that the times that I made bread with my hands, without a bread machine etc., my stress level was very low. The times in my life when we didn't have as much "stuff" and I had to bake bread two to three times a week, scrub the floor on my hands and knees, hang clothes on the clothes line, can fruits and vegetables, and work in the garden, that I didn't show any real stress problems to speak about. Now I have to make a real effort to do things differently. I do go out and dig in the garden. As I hoe the weeds, I work out frustrations. I come back in the house very relaxed and ready to go on to the next thing. I still don't have a bread machine, but I probably buy bread more than I should when I'm feeling pressed for time. I have found some recipes that are very good but faster than some yeast bread (keep checking back, I'll share the recipes with you in the recipe section). I hang clothes on the clothes line as often as I can. When I am outside hanging clothes I get a boost by being outside plus it's a real savings on the power bill. There have been months that we have saved up to $50.00, of course we have a lot of wash. I walk or ride a bike to get to places as much as possible and as time will permit. I also encourage my children to do the same.

Aerobic exercise is an excellent answer to the problem of stress. Whether exercising inside or out, it can lift your spirits, work off all the stress that life can dish out and help you to be healthier also. I have gone to clubs to do aerobics, but I still prefer to exercise in my own home. Walking or biking is also a very good stress buster. I walk or bike to places as much as time will permit. Last year I had a little boy in kindergarten. He had to be at school in the late morning, so whenever it wasn't stormy, we walked, jogged or pumped him to school on the bike. We had offers from others for rides in their car but even my little boy would choose to walk. He was very happy to get to school this way and it was good for both of us. If I didn't happen to have someone around to watch the other kids while I was gone, I would push the stroller with the other kids in it. It's about a mile to the kids' school from our house, so I got a good two mile work out. I'll have another Kindergartner next school year. This year I have to make other times to do the walking. It's hard while starting a business but I shall over come. Breathing slow deep breaths also has helped. Especially when I am doing something physical, I breathe in my nose and blow out my mouth. I find that this actually gives me more energy and helps me to relax more. For stress relief, you need to exercise at least five times a week for 30-40 minutes, exercising continuously. That's what my learning sources say anyway, I target for at least three days a week because of the constraints of time. This includes almost any type of physical activity, swimming, bicycling, jogging or walking very briskly.

Sometimes it's nice to just lay in a hot bath and relax for about a half an hour. It's very rejuvenating! My husband says that I just like to have an excuse to take a hot bath.

If you can, get someone to give you a massage, it feels wonderful and gets your blood circulating.

Get your emotions out. Talk to someone and express your feelings. Just remember though, that if you're angry, you may not be able to correctly portray all of your feelings. The person will appreciate the time with you also. Get to know your spouse better and create an unbreakable bond. Enjoy being with one another. If you can work the timing right have an afternoon encounter, a little "afternoon delight". This is also a great stress reliever. Relax and enjoy the time you and your spouse have together. I think another thing that helps is to have an unwavering trust in your mate. Whenever there is infidelity, no matter how open you may think that you are being, it always seems to corrode the marriage relationship. I have found it very helpful because I haven't had to worry about my husband seeking another woman. I try to be there when he needs me and wants me and he with me. Our religious views put a certain special-ness on our marriage relationship. The more you enjoy being with each other, the more unstressed you feel.

See a funny movie or even spend time with someone who is funny and laugh. Laughing is a great release of tension.

Sometimes a good cry does wonders (my husband still has a hard time understanding when a reply to his questions of "Why are you crying"(?) is just that "I feel like crying"). When I'm through with the cry, all the steam is let out and the pressure is relieved. I end up feeling much better.

Reading is a good escape for many people that I know, even though it's not my favorite way to relieve stress. I do like to read at different times but find that I think about all the other things that I'm not doing that I should. When this happens I'm only adding more stress. If you have small children, put them down for a nap in the middle of the day. Even if you can't lay down for a few minutes, sit down with your feet up and your eyes closed. Even if you can only do this for a few moments. It really does help to revive you. Your children will also be more refreshed after they have had a nap. It is easier for them to behave when they are rested, which will also help your own stress level. It's amazing to me how many mothers don't put their kids down for naps anymore. Then they have a hard time trying to understand why their child misbehaves. Your child is probably tired (though you will probably never get a child to admit to being tired). Nap time is also a good time to introduce stories and reading skills to a small child.

Try to do something that you love, such as working with your hands (which I enjoy doing). I also love sewing, crafts of all kinds and even fixing things around the house. I really feel a sense of accomplishment, as well as having some time to relax.

This suggestion sounds a little weird, but it works well for me, cleaning. I enjoy cleaning anyway, but when I get stressed, look out! My kids can tell when I'm really stressed, because I just tell them "get out of my way, I'm cleaning now"! To date, I have never had a child complain about this condition. Come to think of it, maybe this is a ploy to get them out of work. Believe me though, I do control myself so that they are never without work for very long.

The last thing that I have found helps is diet. My husband is diabetic and we try to eat his diet too. I admit that there are times when we stray a little. When I went to the doctor, he stressed the importance of a low sugar diet and just eating healthily in general. I do feel very healthy and I'm sure a large part of that is the constant conscientious watching of the things that my family and I eat.

Now good luck and get the stress out of your lives (or as much as you can) and enjoy living!