InteractiveMoM.com... Keep MoM Sane... ups and downs of life, sacrifice,
patience, stress, staying organized, Mothers influence
Patience . . . .
. .
An Acquired Virtue
When we went places, especially with our children, and people watch us and find out how
many children we had, we almost always heard "You must be a very patient person to handle so
many children".
I have spent a lot of time thinking about this statement. Am I such an unusual person?
Where does this ability to be 'relatively' patient come from?
In trying to discover "me", I
discovered that patience is really an acquired attribute. I am not a perfectly patient person, I'm
human, but I have had to make adjustments in my life to accommodate the numbers of children
that I am dealing with.
Anybody can be a patient person if they really try. In fact it takes
patience to be a "sane" person in today's 'rush and wait' world. (What is "rush and wait"? It's
what I do so much of whenever I'm out of the house, hurry here and wait in line and then hurry
there and wait in a line).
It takes discipline, control and time
to become a patient person, but as one starts to become more patient, you see
how much farther you have to go to be an ideal example of patience. Through trial and error, you
can improve on your own skills in the area of patience. Sometimes it seems more like 'trials'
with 'errors' but the key is to never give up!
This is as it should be. After all, your trials are what test your patience and can
potentially build more patience. The question is, are you moving forward, are you slipping back
or just standing still? Nobody is perfect and it's hard to deal with every situation perfectly,
especially with the every day pressures such as making ends meet, paying the bills, dealing with
everyone's ups and downs (including your own), getting and keeping life organized and the ever
present pressure to always do better at everything.
Patience doesn't mean you turn to "milk toast". A patient person is able to handle
difficult situations with strength and conviction. There may be times
when your children
may challenge your views or decisions. Stand firm! They really need your strength. They are looking for
that. You, as the parent, need to take the lead and show your children the strength that comes
from doing the right things and standing up for those right things. It is
essential to have your own personal
values defined. A person who isn't sure of who he/she is, who doesn't stand for
something real ... will FALL! I've heard a saying that goes," If you don't stand
for something, you'll fall for anything".
Strength is what your children are looking for. When you
know who you are, why you are here, and what you want to accomplish, it is easier to handle life
and the challenges that confront us daily.
Patience is one of those attributes that has it's own
built-in reward though. It builds self esteem
and strengthens self worth to know that you can handle difficult situations in a rational manner.
It is also calming in tense situations, to all who are involved when patients is
practiced.
Just take it day-by-day, one step at
a time. Sometimes it seems like there are some steps backwards for every few steps forward. I
know that I have stepped backward many times but I pick myself up again. Even that is worthwhile in
itself. Just keep moving on and if you want to move forward, you will! Your kids might even
pick up on some of the behavior and be more patient themselves. Children tend to lose
patients around the age of 11-12 but they get it back around 19 or 20. Your example is there to sustain them during those years.
