When we went places, especially with our children, and people watch us and find out how many children we had, we almost always heard "You must be a very patient person to handle so many children".

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this statement. Am I such an unusual person? Where does this ability to be 'relatively' patient come from?

In trying to discover "me", I discovered that patience is really an acquired attribute. I am not a perfectly patient person, I'm human, but I have had to make adjustments in my life to accommodate the numbers of children that I am dealing with.

Anybody can be a patient person if they really try. In fact it takes patience to be a "sane" person in today's 'rush and wait' world. (What is "rush and wait"? It's what I do so much of whenever I'm out of the house, hurry here and wait in line and then hurry there and wait in a line).

It takes discipline, control and time to become a patient person, but as one starts to become more patient, you see how much farther you have to go to be an ideal example of patience. Through trial and error, you can improve on your own skills in the area of patience. Sometimes it seems more like 'trials' with 'errors' but the key is to never give up!

 This is as it should be. After all, your trials are what test your patience and can potentially build more patience. The question is, are you moving forward, are you slipping back or just standing still? Nobody is perfect and it's hard to deal with every situation perfectly, especially with the every day pressures such as making ends meet, paying the bills, dealing with everyone's ups and downs (including your own), getting and keeping life organized and the ever present pressure to always do better at everything.

Patience doesn't mean you turn to "milk toast". A patient person is able to handle difficult situations with strength and conviction. There may be times when your children may challenge your views or decisions. Stand firm! They really need your strength. They are looking for that. You, as the parent, need to take the lead and show your children the strength that comes from doing the right things and standing up for those right things. It is essential to have your own personal values defined. A person who isn't sure of who he/she is, who doesn't stand for something real ... will FALL! I've heard a saying that goes," If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything".

Strength is what your children are looking for. When you know who you are, why you are here, and what you want to accomplish, it is easier to handle life and the challenges that confront us daily.

Patience is one of those attributes that has it's own built-in reward though. It builds self esteem and strengthens self worth to know that you can handle difficult situations in a rational manner. It is also calming in tense situations, to all who are involved when patients is practiced.

Just take it day-by-day, one step at a time. Sometimes it seems like there are some steps backwards for every few steps forward. I know that I have stepped backward many times but I pick myself up again. Even that is worthwhile in itself. Just keep moving on and if you want to move forward, you will! Your kids might even pick up on some of the behavior and be more patient themselves. Children tend to lose patients around the age of 11-12 but they get it back around 19 or 20. Your example is there to sustain them during those years.