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Dealing with
Bed Wetting
Some parents are lucky and don't have this dilemma to deal with. If you're one who has
to deal with a bed wetter, believe me, I understand!
Some of my kids have had to deal with this problem, others haven't.
Even though heredity may be one cause, it doesn't strike everyone. It may also
be that the bladder isn't fully developed or that they are just really sound
sleepers. Whatever the cause, it's obviously a problem that any child (and
parent) would love to be without. Some kids just seem to have a bigger
storage tank than others. At any rate, it is a very personal thing and should be dealt privately
with the child.
Enuresis is one of those day to day challenges that can be very difficult to deal with. If
your child is a bed wetter, it takes patience and long suffering
to deal with the problem. Give as
much responsibility as possible to your child though; they need to accept and deal with the
problem and overcome it.
Bed Wetting Triggers
Sound Sleepers
A child who has to deal with bed wetting may be
a really sound sleeper, who isn't aware of the natural triggers to get up
and use the bathroom. Others may be just the lucky one who, because of
heredity, were hit with the wetting tendency. Some wet every night and
others who only wet occasionally.
Stressful
Situations
Through the years as I have dealt with Enuresis, I noticed that the wetting, a
lot of times, was worsened by some sort of stress or change. Things such as school starting or ending,
a move, a family problem, problems between friends; any of these can have some bearing on
when a child wets. Be there for your child and be understanding of changes the
occur in life and help your child to better adjust to changes and problems.
This will also be a help later in life, as it is now.
Dreams
I have also realized that dreams can be a big guide post to
let the child aware that they might
be wetting. I have a friend who has had to deal with kids with bed wetting
problems too. She also
realized that dreams were a signal. She has told her bed-wetters that if they start having a bad
dream, to wake themselves up and go to the bathroom. She said that when they started dealing
with the problem in this manner, the situation was improved. If you ask a child,
many times they will tell you that they had a dream that they got up to use
the bathroom, or something similar. Dreams can help a child be aware of what
their body is in need of, if they can wake themselves up during the dream.
Temperature
Another factor that seems to add to the problem
is temperature, obviously winter time is worse. If your child gets cold at night he/she might have a harder time
controlling the bladder. Whenever mine have kicked
the covers off, or it's unusually cold during the night, they have a greater tendency to wet.
Day Wetting
Some times the wetting spills over (pun intended) to the day time. I have
had and seen
kids, my own as well as kids that I was babysitting, that just don't like to go to the bathroom.
They seem to always just be too busy doing what the are doing to stop to go to the bathroom
(play is a kid's work after all).
Because of this, they "hold it" too long until they can't make it to the bathroom.
With other children, wetting problems seem to be more of an attention getter. With one of my children, whenever we went
anywhere, she had to use the bathroom. As a result I know where all of the bathrooms are in the
mall, grocery stores, soccer fields, etc., anywhere we went.
Helpful Solutions to Improvement
After
trying to figure out what is causing the problem, if you even can, there is dealing with the problem.
There a few different options open to try to
help your child.
The most obvious step is to make sure your
child uses the toilet before going to bed. You can also help your
child to get up during the night to go to the bathroom.
You can use a diaper or special sleep pants so
that the bed doesn't get wet. With a younger child this works well. As a
child gets older, their are larger pants (even large enough for adults) so
the child could use these discreetly. These can also be used if the child
wants to attend a sleepover or go camping. Try to encourage your child to
participate in activities and give him a way to do that. Give the power to
your child if he is 4 or older to overcome and do normal things.
Drinking right before bedtime can make the
wetting harder to control. If you put it in, it has to come out. Try to give
your child drinks earlier on in the evening, no sooner than 2 hours before they
go to bed. Also avoid completely caffeinated or carbonated drinks at night,
they act as a diuretic. If he must be a drink, have just a small sip before bedtime.
One of our doctors, when our oldest child was young and having a problem,
told us to give him a sip of orange juice, if anything, right before
brushing his teeth. That would help to alleviate the ammonia smell that
accompanies when a child wets. My friend also found that milk had more effect on causing
her child to
wet. I haven't noticed that milk is a direct cause. It would be something to consider though.
Try a "Dry Calendar" to keep track of the
nights that your child is dry and let the child use that to help motivate
him to improvement. Give a reward for so many dry nights. Self
motivation is the best motivation and this is great tool.
Talk to your doctor. There are medications that
can be used on a short-term basis until habits are formed. We haven't been
very successful with the medications, but I know others who have been. Also,
he may want to rule out any chance of any medical condition. Medical
conditions such as diabetes or infections could be a problem. One of the
signs of Diabetes is frequent urination and overly thirsty.
Enuresis Alarms have been very successful,
however, I haven't ever had any health insurance where the alarms were
covered. They run around $150 to $200, which could be a problem right now
with all of the added cost of fuel which is driving up the cost of
food and basically everything.
Exercising the muscles controlling the bladder
can be helpful. I know I have used exercises to help me. After having 13
children, I can even jump on a trampoline without loosing my water. Stopping
the urine mid-stream can be an easy exercise the strengthen the sphincter
muscle. Also, trying holding urine for as long as you possible can during
the day will strengthen the muscles and stretch the bladder to hold
more.
Draw-backs to Face
Until the child is in control, I don't want to get angry with him because he
is getting the bed soiled every night. I also want to save the energy used to wash sheets every
day, as well saving the wear and tear on the sheets themselves. It can add to
the bills and budget. There are some days that the
washing machine is very busy. When I have to wash sheets and blankets, I try to hang them out
on the clothesline as much as possible, that way they end up smelling great too. The sunshine also sanitizes
clothes, sheets and blankets in this case. When this is impossible, my dryer also is busy.
Unfortunately, dryers are more expensive to run, so the cost of cleaning goes up. (That's also
another reason I like to hang the sheets and blankets).
When to Call the Doctor
There may come a time when you feel there may be something more to it than just an
occasional wetting
problem. When you go the doctor, he will most generally make sure that there
isn't an infection of some sort and in prolonged cases, he may request that you
have an ultrasound to make sure that there isn't anything anatomically wrong. I
once had a doctor tell me that there are NO stupid questions. I rely on my
intuition as a mother to help guide me. If the tests come back negative, that
there isn't anything medically or anatomically wrong, it alleviates a lot of
stress and worry. Work towards overcoming from that point on.
One of our daughters was wetting so consistently that at one point we felt there might
be a problem that could be taken care of medically. We took her to the doctor and he sent us to
have some tests done to see if there was anything physically wrong. There wasn't. From there
we figured that whatever problem there was, was something our daughter would just have to
overcome. That usually seems to be the case.
Again, if you have a child that is consistently wetting and
you suspect something is wrong, take them to the doctor and alleviate any fears that you may
have.
Other Lessons Learned
Every child who wets
has issues that they will have to deal with, the older they are the more issues.
One child (still wetting at age 12) liked to deny that she had
a wetting problem. We had to somehow force her to deal with the problem, or at least it felt like we were
forcing her. She didn't want to co-operate. It is best to let the child take
responsibility for themselves as much as possible when they are age-able. All of
our kids who have wet, either consistently or
sporadically, have been required to change the bed themselves (as much as possible) and then re-make
the bed so that they can sleep in it that night.
One child was gotten up to use the
bathroom every night before I went to bed, he had already been in bed a
few hours. We also got everyone up at 6:00 am for a family prayer before
starting on the day. The kids who didn't have to leave right then went back to
bed. I found that when we got up at 6:00, that child was still dry a lot of
times. Unfortunately, he was wet when he got up again, too many times. As I talked with him and asked him if wanted to stop wetting, he
was not committed to
stopping. I think he didn't want to be disappointed when he didn't
accomplish it. A child needs to want to stop wetting before it will
really happen. Regardless of my desires for him to not wet and for him
to feel good about himself, the power has to come from him. All I can do is urge him
with positiveness and love.
Keeping
it Positive
Keep your interaction with your
child positive. You want him to have good self image, to grow up with self
confidence. Encourage him to participate in life, to talk to you about his
thoughts and feelings, to become a strong, happy person.
The fact that he has a bed wetting problem doesn't make him a bad or lazy
person. The most important thing that you can do is to make sure that
they are secure in the knowledge that you love them. That whatever problem they
have will not affect that love. That is the anchor that will help them
overcome, and they will!
The power is within them, but they may have to grow into the ability to control
fully.
